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THE YEAR WAS 2012 ~

11/16/2019

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It was Christmas morning the year of 2011, my mom was fall, break her hip, get pneumonia and enter a care home.  I remember her crying and promising me she would always use her walker.  She made a simple mistake of not holding on and it changed her life forever.  It was living in her own apartment and had in home care help.  Now that life changed for her, it changed for my husband and I as well.  We would go daily to Napa to visit her and saw the decline in her life.

I wrote this blog a few years ago called, "A DAY TO REMEMBER".  Here it is:
Proverbs 18:24New International Version (NIV)
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

ACTS OF KINDNESS ~
It is 5 years ago today that my mom went to Heaven. The crazy thing was I only thought she had a cold.  I stayed late the night before and one of the workers there Nicole drove me home.  Nicole became a light in a hard season for both my mom and my family.  She sat at the front desk and would always greet me with a smile and encouraging words.  Nicole became a friend and an angel forever in my life.  There were so many other nurses and helpers to made my mom's life better at the care home.  One act of kindness stayed with in my heart because it was so hard to watch my mom change.  Change from living alone and walking, to a care home and wheel chair the rest of her life.  Some days my mom would not know who I was and suddenly, she said, "when did you get here".  

A DAY TO REMEMBER ~
As she entered Heaven, I was both happy that her pain was over, but I lost myself somewhere in weeks to come.  I didn't know how not to drive to Napa two times a day to see her.  I had been taking care of since I was a teenager.  My dad died when I was 18 years old and she wanted to die for almost 40 years.  Then one day, she met a man named Irwin in her 80's.  He has lost his wife and they started dating.  I often wonder what life would have been like for her if she had remarried or just started living life again. Part of her problem was she held onto mistakes of life.  She would not let go and blamed herself for some many things.  God wanted her to let it go, but she just couldn't.

TODAY IS A DAY TO REMEMBER ~
The blessings of having a mom who tried hard and after her death, I found she taught faith in the care home. There was something deep inside of her that I never saw at times. The frustrations of doing things wrong was what I heard daily.  Yet, I kept going back.  One day, Darlene and the women of the well prayed that I would hear words that would mend things for me.  The night before my mom died, that happened.  God brought peace inside my heart and I believe her hear too.  Little did I know, that would be our last conversation.  I find God faithful in all seasons of life.  I find him knowing we need our family and friends around us when hard stuff happens.  

Proverbs 18:24  New International Version (NIV)
24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

My mom had friends at the care home and she also had Jesus.  She knew the source and I believe she called upon him many times.  As a kid, I can remember a day where she tried so hard to put two broken christmas trees together to make one good one.  Her love for me was huge but I let some frustrations stop me from seeing that. I would like to relate this to God. His love for me is huge and sometimes frustrations gets in the way of seeing that.  Has that ever happen to you?  Life is short and tell people you love them. Let go of what you can't change and change the things you can.  I thank God for harder times, but I've seen his power through them. I thank God for good times, because I know to count blessings in all seasons.  

Todays writings are a bit different, but I felt to share my heart. If there is someone in your life that just frustrates you, children, aging parents, mate, co-workers, children and the list goes on, just show kindness.  Live without expectations and do what is right.  I know I did what was right for my mom, but I see now that I could have done better.  I thank each person who came to the care home and spend time with her.  She was only 5 when her mom died and she didn't quite get the mom thing.  But I see she did her best and that's good enough for me. I love you mom in heaven and miss you greatly.

We just never know what someone goes through in life.  It was be Christmas Morning 1987, when I would get a phone call to come to the hospital.  My brother had cancer at 37years old and would die that that.  I'm sharing about him, because this affected my mom in a big way.  She took care of her and bandaged his sores and I cry as I write this today.  I see how she was only 5 years old when her mommy died.  She never knew the love of a mom or even a dad. She was passed around to family members and would get married at 17 years old.  So when my dad died, she lost her world.  I found myself never being enough for her, until the night before she died. She spoke words, I waited all my life to hear and I felt a special bond.  Like I said before, I never knew she would die the next day.  

Purpose this a good day. Tell people you love them, care and share time. Life is truly short and when it's over for a loved one, we have regrets in some areas.  Maybe not everyone does, but I do.  I wish I had saw life through her eyes a lot early in my life.  I also say, If you can't do anything about it, let it go.  LIVE IN TODAY!  My prayers continue for you, your family and friends. I'm so glad God connected our lives through this blog.
​~ Sparkie
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©Janet Nance
YouDontEvenKnowMinistries
American Canyon, CA