As I heard the words of the doctor say, "you had a heart attack and we need to keep you over night". I thought immediately it's not so bad if they just want to watch me over night. Then a special came in to say, "we have a couple of choices". What? What am I hearing about myself? A couple of choices and what could that be? One option, we can go up your arm or threw your leg to put a stent in your heart. Another option, we might need to take you to San Francisco for open heart surgery? That's when I held back tears like a baby.
Was I scared? Absolutely, I was scared. I didn't know what was next and I felt so alone in that room. Waiting for my family to get there and I need some encouragement. I called upon God and I knew that my only choice was to call up faith and the stronger person inside of me. I was about to face things I had never faced. I contact my family and they came. Darlene put it out there for prayer with our church and women's prayer page. I knew I had prayer going up and I had to trust the Lord that I would stay alive. I realized in that moment, I didn't want to die and I wanted to live far more than death. But it wasn't my choice, it was up to God. The Bible says: we have a time to be born and a time to die.
I AM LIVE ~
God choose to give me life by putting a stent in my heart. It was 100 percent block, but no heart damage the doctor said. I wanted to share this today because my story is one of life. As you face Thanksgiving Day this year, count the blessings of health. Many sit around a table where their loved one is gone and it's hard to face this day of family plus friends. There are questions of why and wonder of it all. The hard can overcome the good and that piece of their heart is missing. I know this subject very well since 18 years old. It was that first Thanksgiving without my dad that I knew life would never be the same on at holidays. My mom choose to live the past for 40 years after. Not just joy for the holidays at all. Then it happen. Christmas morning 1988 and I would get the phone call. My brother would die that day from cancer. I would have regrets of not opening presents with him early. I would stop going to church and anger would fill my soul.
You might ask why did anger filled your soul? We were at the hospital and some leadership came to see my brother. I walked into the hospital room to hear this, "I wish he would die soon, so we can go home to our family". What? I didn't feel supported at all and anger started to arise. It was only a few minutes and my brother would die. I quit church for almost one year. The hurt overpowered the love for God for me. Nobody needs to hear those words even if it were true for them. Life became complicated as the next year approached. I would feel a pulling in my heart to go to church with my husband. God restored my heart in a new church and people of kindness.
Moving forward and finding that not all churches are the same. People do lead with words from the Bible and do their best too. People are not perfect and we will say words that aren't the best. We learn from mistakes and move forward in life. Today I will thanks for my church in Napa. It is called, "Hillside Christian Church" and we have been there for over 18 years. A solid leadership of the word of God and friendships that continue to grow. I love meeting new people and helping them get connected in church. Church is a community of believers, but we don't all believe the same. We live according the Bible the best we can in life.
I hope today you feel loved and grateful for life! Life is the best gift that God has ever given us. Our example goes further than we might know. People who may never go to church will see the kindness through you. A God who gives life and death, but keeps us in the in-between time too. I am so very grateful for life!
I thank you for reading my blog, planting hope in your life and knowing God is able. Nothing is too big for me. Things might not turn out like we think but there is always another path God has for us. We are on this journey together and God's word is true. My prayers continue for you, your family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving to all.