Proverbs 3:5-6 New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Lean not to your own understanding
It was hard for my mind to understand the why of the brain bleed for my daughter. I stood at her door holding her five day old baby and she was being put into an ambulance. Tracy has three step sons and
one would ask, "is Tracy going to die". I say no, because there was a sudden fear that death could happen. We had no clue what was wrong other than her head hurt. I would get a phone call awhile later and her husband would tell me that Tracy has a life threatening illness. She was being air lifted to a different hospital and that's all we really knew. I only knew to pray and ask God for a miracle. I was in tears and called my son and his now wife to help me. They came immediately and we waited to hear more.
THE MORE ~
The news was certainly not good and she was in so much pain. Not only physically but also mentally because of the unknown. She would have a five day old baby that she could not see for days. She could not hold her or even breast feed anymore. I will skip forward days and Tracy would be brought home. She wasn't able to hold her baby or take care of her. She could barely walk and eyes hurt so bad, plus so much more pain. Our family stepped into help her and so did her husband. Tracy would need medication every two hours around the clock for days. We would all set alarm clocks so we wouldn't miss her medication time. She would be off work for 6 months to recover and a new normal would begin. So many tears, prayers and wonder was happening in our of our brains. Trying hard not to ask God why when day by day things were the same to us. Yet, God was working behind what we could see the healing process or the miracle of life. Somethings just take time and holding tight to God and family.
TODAY ~ ONE YEAR LATER
Our family is leaving Disneyland today. Counting blessings of her life, her baby and our family sticking together. We have learned to be there for each other each day of life. God not only created each of us, but his plan is bigger than we think. I don't know why Tracy had the brain bleed. I don't know why she didn't get a miracle and it took months. I would like to think it is a miracle of life and we certainly are rejoicing today! One year later, here we are leaving Disneyland area and heading home. Everyone misses our other family and ready to celebrate with them too. God has been so good to us and we can't always look at the natural but spiritual too. For what ever reason the brain bleed happen, it changed us as a family and I can see how it changed me as a person. I see the importance of letting little things stay little. Appreciation of time with others and I have learned to stop complaining over stuff.
WHAT YOU DIDN'T SEE ~
Last summer was terribly hard for all of us, but especially Tracy. The great news is this, Tracy is alive and learned to live in a new normal of things. I thank God for those who prayed and continues to pray for Tracy and family. The year prior to this, their house burned down in the Napa fires and they lost so much. The year before that, Tracy lost a baby and tears of why began again. So the last three years have brought sorrows, but so much joys too. We now hold baby Averie who just turned one year old on June 30th. She is always smiling, happy and brings happy to our hearts. I have learned this, when you think of complaining, stop and rethink things of life. Health is a blessing, material things are a blessing and everyday we could find happy in our lives. Purpose happy and see all the things you do have in life.
As we leaven the Disneyland area, we take the happy with us. The happiest place on earth is where your heart is in life. My happy is with my family and friends are my life. My main happy is knowing that Jesus loves me and he has purposed my life on earth. Life is way to short to get stuck on things not important. Thank you God for Tracy's life, Averie's life and this amazing vacation with my husband, daughter, son and GRANDdaughters. I am one blessed wife, mother, and Grammie to these beautiful humans you created. I will forever give you praise!
LIVE IN TODAY ~
Psalm 139:14 New International Version (NIV)I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Purpose this a good day and continue to count blessings.