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MY DESIRE ~

2/11/2019

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Psalm 37:4 English Standard Version (ESV)
​
Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

​One of the desires of my heart is to be used by God.  I don't believe I have gone through so much in life to not share my story.  Too much to gain to loose in keep quiet about it.  As a little girl, my desire was to grow up and teaching people kindness.  I disliked being teased so much as a kids and called names.  Names in which wasn't nice and hurt my feelings.  I never really wanted to go to school because I knew kids would be mean.  I kept the dream alive that someday I would teach others and here I am teaching now.  Leading 
people into a growing relationship with God, plus others.  Our own actions speaks so loud to someone else.  Our examples makes a difference. 

The year was 1973 and my dad said that our world was so far from God.  I wonder what my dad would think of this world now in 2019.  Over 46 years ago and it is true, so much has changed.  My dad died that same year suddenly at home and I'll never forget that day.  The pain was great inside of a 18 year old girl and I didn't know how to handle it. I think anger took control and I totally  did not know Jesus.  But moving on from that, I have allowed that pain to help others.  I see the view from a teenager in pain but also I point out the things I wished my mom had handle different.  That day, I seemed to loose my mom too.  Her deep grief consumed her and forty years later, she went to be with Jesus. 

Beauty for Ashes ~
It is anything in our lives that changes and we feel the loss.  I feel the loss of my parents, other family members and friends.  I feel he loss of moving years ago and the things I wanted.  The list goes on with material things, physical things and even spiritual things.  I had to bring my thought pattern back to knowing God is able to handle my life.  I need to surrender my will to God's will and hold onto that.  Somethings changes we never wanted but must deal with in life.

When I spoke my our women's service at Hillside Saturday, I looked around to see the women in the room who came just for me.  I had invited them to the service and they came.  My heart was over joyed that they came.  As a kid, I didn't have real friends but I sure do now. That alone excites my heart and I love connecting with others.  It's not always the pain of things but the new beginning of things. God has a way to restore our lives and give us back things we lost.  

I spoke about loosing me in the brain bleed of my daughter. How the pain of watching her overwhelmed my soul and I grew tired in my faith.  I had to stir up my faith because she needed a miracle of health.  I connect with others and prayed.  In the tired parts, I cried myself to sleep but I can I tell you today that God gave her a miracle of health.  A miracle baby too and so much more. God is good and we must stay focus on that fact.  Nobody said that life would be easy but it is grand knowing God is right here daily.  

I hope today your surround yourself with the peace of God and allow him freedom to mold you.  Being molded is painful at times, but so worth it.  I look back to see God at work now and the freedom he gave me to move forward.  I praise him daily for my family, my friends and new friends.  God so connects live for purpose and I see that.  I want to thank each of you who continue to pray for me as well.  We need each other in life.  I'm grateful for a chance to speak to women and to write you daily.  It's opportunities that changes us from the inside and it shows on the outside.  I hope you continue to press forward, overcome things and let God use your life. Purpose this a good day. 
~ Sparkie 
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©Janet Nance
YouDontEvenKnowMinistries
American Canyon, CA