Psalm 147:3-5 New International Version (NIV)
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
God's word speaks about God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. If you don't know God, you don't know this statement. God took the time to name each star and call them by name. He created all and things do change. There is power in words and thoughts. My 18 year old self had to take words away from me and plant new words of hope. My dad wasn't coming back and I had to realize that. He was the first person I ever saw dead and it was so hard.
I never had a relationship with God or knew the depth of his love. We need other people in our lives to help teach us and we grow from lives experiences. We become either better or bitter over time. I remember my mom was in her early 40's when my dad died and she became so angry. My house wasn't a house of peace and I cried myself to sleep many nights. I became determined to help my mom get better and I needed to get better too. I couldn't handle her crying and wanting to die. When I think of my younger self, I am so happy that I turned out the way I did.
NEW NORMAL ~
Maybe you have not had someone die that you are so close too. You can only image the pain of someone who has walked through this. Each of us handle death different and it's because of our closeness to the person or the longings we wish we had with someone. My mom was only 5 years old when her mother died. Right before my mom died, she told me that she didn't know how to be a mom. My mom was in her 80's when I heard this for the first time. It changed my view of her and then she passed away the next day. Tears of wishing she had talked to me over the years but she didn't. She live in anger and missed out on so much. Don't get me wrong, I love her so much but she couldn't live beyond her loss. I was never enough to her and I tried so hard.
I wanted to write about this today because I feel there is someone who reads this that will change. Change in the way you view things and purpose to live this life you have been given. We can not help what happened to us as kids or adults. We certainly can handle how we see ourselves and how we press on by hope. I hope that this day is amazing and that you forgive those who hurt you. Live a new normal of forgiveness to yourself and to others. Letting go sounds easy but much harder to do. I had to forgive my mom for not being the mom I always wanted. She only knew what she knew and couldn't move forward. Each of our choices makes a big difference. My example does matter and I know that. I was determined to be the person I always wanted in life. I wanted a best friend, so I do my best. I wanted a good mom, so I became a good mom. I wanted and I wanted so much in life. I continue to looks through my 18 year old self to help others.
Change comes by us changing our own minds. Romans 12:1-2 speaks about renewing our minds. Seeing things different and we must put our trust in God. If you can't trust God now, then purpose yourself around those who do. One day you will get it, and trust beyond measure a God who created this big world. I have often said, "I wish I had another chance to talk to my dad, mom and brother". As they rest in Heaven, I must rest in knowing they are taken care of and I will someday see them again.
My prayers continue for you, your family and friends. If this message doesn't hit you, pass it onto someone who might need it. Death is a strange thing and our hears become broken. Broken to the point of tears and wonder. Our words make a difference to others in all times. I remember being 18 and someone from my dad's church said, "he had to die so you could come to Jesus". I don't believe that all, but I sure did at 18. People don't always have right words whether they go to church or not. Search things for yourself and ask God for true friends with wisdom. Purpose this a good day and know that I care.