I am a person who has gone through many things. I was talking with a friend about being 18 years old when my dad suddenly died inside our home. It changed me that day forever. I don't understand the timing of death and I must be honest about that. I would wait on the porch at night for my dad to come home from work, but he never came. As life moved forward, I am able to share real life from a kids point of view and also an adult point of view now. Each day there is someone who will be born and someone who will die. We learn to deal with both as life moves forward.
Not everyone knows what to say to you when a person leaves earth. One thing I did hear was this, "I know how you feel". Nope, you don't know how I feel, because I didn't know how I felt. I was lost and mad at God. I had no one to talk to about it, because my mom wanted to die too. It tripped my mind up and my heart became very broken. I lost my dad and now my mom wants to leave me. I had an adult tell me this, "God needed him more than you did". What? Are they crazy, you never tell a 18 year old kids this. I would lay on my bed at night to cry while I heard my mom cry to die. She would say, "God take me home, I can't live without Ed". It just became too much for me and I ended up in the emergency room. I had to change my mindset and take care of myself, but how? My dad was the first person I ever knew who died. It was a struggle for me and it took time to move forward.
THE BIBLE SAYS:
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
MY HEART HURTS ~
It's okay to mourn and don't let people tell not to cry. Lori says that crying is healing tears. There were times of life when all I had was tears. Those tears were heard by God when I had no words.
GUARD YOUR HEART ~
People tell you that are lucky, but they don't know your inside story. They don't see the tears you cry or the heartbreak you feel. Little things remind of you people who are gone. I guess I was lucky to have my dad for 18 years. My mom only had her mom for 5 years before she died. My mom went through many heartbreaks too. Passed around to brothers and sisters houses to live and never having her own room. I wish I had my mom still on earth because I get it now. I needed a little more compassion for a woman who didn't understand life. I can learn and grow from it, but I wish I had another hug and I love you moment with my mom. Tears are flowing as I write this, but I feel that somebody needs to read this.
Don't keep silent with a friend or family member who experiences a loved one gone. Just say this, "I do not know how you feel, but I am here for you. If you need anything, let me know". Those few words help so much. Silence is not always golden my friends, speak words of hope, encouragement and just be available to listen. Yes, just listen and be there!
A SEASON FOR ALL THINGS ~
Life is about seasons and things changing. Change is not always easy and I don't understanding the timing of somethings. In your angry do not sin. God knew we would get angry, but don't stay there.
Ephesians 4:26 New International Version (NIV)
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry
We need each other in life. I met a really good friend who lost her daughter and came up to me for prayer. I could never image the depth of her pain or loss. I remember telling her that I can relate to loosing a dad at 18 and a brother on Christmas Day, but never a daughter. Her loss connected us and I knew it was God at that moment. I honest felt so much pain from her and I only wanted to get to know her at that point. I know grieving is hard and it actually never ends. We get reminded of moments and it hurts over again. God never leaves us and he can help us through the grief of loss.
MY HEART HURTS ~ For people who hurt.
For those who lose loved ones and taking a deep breathe is necessary. We grieve many things in life. Loss of anything and pressing forward is a must. People don't know how you feel or what to say to us at times of life. Never take things personal because people do say wrong things to us. Know what God says and know that people mean well, but words are hard. I have learn to use those negative words to help others in what not to say and what to say. I think a HUG says a lot when words won't come.
My prayers are with you, your family and friends. I do care with all my heart and praying for those who needed this message today or anyway of life. It is the one's left behind that hurt so much. I remember crying my face off in Disneyland after my mom died. I just couldn't pull myself together and stayed inside a bathroom for quite a while. Family helps, friends help but we actually grieve people in different ways. It's okay to be you, but don't get stuck in grieving. I think counseling is great, talking to friends and praying for sure! God will help even if you mad at him. He never leaves us. I'm not that 18 year old girl anymore, but I know the pain and I know the gain of trusting God again. I am who I am because of the things I have gone through and with the help of God, Family and friends. Don't stay alone and reach out. Remember, I CARE about the readers of my blog, your family and friends too.
LIFE ~ God has given you life for a reason. Never forget to live it each day to the fullest and share it with others. God connects for a reason and we can grow from each other. Grow into a better person and not bitter as you face things. I know this too well my friends.
Purpose to see blessings daily!