YESTERDAY ~ CHRISTMAS DAY
The gifts are open, the kids are playing with toys, adults are resting from a busy day, some people going back to work and others playing over the complete day. Some with such joys and some with such sorrows.
My first thoughts of Christmas Day always goes back to my brother. I wrote about him yesterday. He had cancer at 37 years olds and died on Christmas Day years ago. Yet, that morning as we open gifts and the hospital called us to come, I never forget that moment of time. My first thought was this, "he was right".
My brother knew his time was shorter than I did and he felt that he would go to Heaven before we could open gifts. I had regrets of not opening gifts the week before, but I never thought he would die on Christmas. Making Christmas Day not only about Jesus, but about my brother. Years would pass and my mother would fall on Christmas Day (4years ago) and he would never really recover from that. She went to Heaven at 84 years old and it wasn't until the day before she passed away, that she spoke words I waited to hear all my life. As tears pour down my face right now, I can tell you that grieving the loss of a loved one is crazy hard!
I felt like a kid most of my life. I wanted my mom's love, approval and support. She was the mom God gave me and I tried my best to understand her. I guess I did, the night before she passed away. Her words were amazing and said, "I was a good daughter to her". She lived through the depression of no food and living with very little. She walked to school in the snow, had only a small lunch and would quick school before 16 years old. Her mother died when she was 5 years old. She would be passed around from brother to sister's house for years. She never knew how to be a mom and went to work to help support our family. The point of me telling you this is, her story continued from a little girl to an adult and still searching for love. She felt as if everyone she loved, left her.
GRIEVING ~
Just as my mother grieved her mom, I also grieved my mom. Just a missing link in the story of being a girl and wanting to grow up being a strong confident woman. I decided to do my best every day to become a great mom and support my children. To leave a legacy of faith and trust in God through it all. We might not get the parents we want, but let us value the fact that God choose them to have us. Some families seem perfect, but there are things that happen in every family that nobody else might know about in life.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
CHRISTMAS DAY ~ is about the birth of Jesus. A day picked to celebrate what he did for us and what is still doing for us. A Happy Birthday Jesus Day! God tells us in Psalm 34:18 that he is close to the brokenhearted. He never leaves us for forsakes us. It is how we think that matters. Yes, there is much sorrow in the land, but there is also much JOY and new beginnings. We have a reason to celebrate this new life we have been given. A love beyond measure and God knows who to put into our lives. We need to surround our lives with people who encourages us and do not brings us down. Sorrows will come, but so will joy.
Psalm 147:3 (NIV)3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
I am not saying it's easy to move forward in life after a loved one goes to Heaven, but it is necessary. This year my husband mother went to Heaven and it was hard. We sat by her side and she was faithful to people who were in their last days of life. She loved taking care of people and showed it. As we begin a new day and a new season of life, we count blessings of each day.
My heart is with those who hurt today. Several friends had one of their parents go to Heaven recently and I care deeply. The first christmas they are gone, brings back tons of memories and tears. It brings joys as well of remembering past years. It doesn't just stop on the first christmas but years go by and you never forget your loved ones. Missing them greatly and learning a new normal while remember the old. We started new things this year and it was nice. We found ourselves smiling and having fun. Giving thanks for all things and knowing that God has things in his control. A time to be born and a time to die. It is written in his word. So my friends, I am praying for you, your families and friends. Change happens to each of us and stir up your faith in a new day. Never loose hope and it's okay to cry. Never let the sadness overpower you and press forward please with hope.
~ Sparkie
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