New International Version
Psalm 23 A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
The 23rd Psalm is often read at life celebration service/funerals. It was read at my dad's funeral and I was 18 years old. I had never heard of this chapter before this. I never really opened a Bible. I also had never saw a dead person before my dad. Life sure changed after graduation and a few weeks later, my dad was gone. Life seemed so unfair and I was so lost inside. My mom would lay on the couch and cry to die. She would say please God take me with Ed. Ed was my dad and I didn't realize I had lost my mom in many ways too. She was depressed and life appeared to be over for the next 40 years for her.
There were some church people who came to our house. Not one of them talked to me and only appeared to come for food. I guess it was right to have people over after the service, but my brother and I sure didn't like it. One person said this to me, your dad died because God needed him more than you did. It made me mad, yes mad and I went to my room until everybody left. I became mad at God too. I didn't understand church, God or people. I wanted everyone to just go home and leave me alone. My anger grew and that's the truth.
It wasn't until months later, that I felt the need for change. I can't do this thing called life and I entered up in the emergency room and chest pains. It was nerves and I needed a way out of my house. I began to think how could I help my mom. I took on something that day and it was never my job to make her happy because I could not. I didn't know balance or God. After all, I was mad at him. Until one day, a friend Dennis showed up at my house and brought this little preacher boy with him. They both talked about God and I listened but wasn't interested. Dennis was a few years younger than me and his dad was my dad's best friend. I trusted Dennis words about God and who was this other kid who brought a Bible with him? It was 1973 and I never saw anyone carry a Bible to my house.
Well it turns out that the little boys name was Terry and he was actually the same age as me. I heard he was going to preach at church and thought my mom might need church. I also wanted to here him preach. I never knew that first step inside my house, would be a lifetime of friendship and growing together. We have now been married 44 years this August 2021. It was crazy how God connected us because I wanted nothing to do with God, church or people who went to church. It took one year for me to start dating him because I was so broken, hurt and confused about life. Yet, God in all his patience, brought people into my life to help me. To grow me into a strong woman of God. I put aside all my hurts, disappointments and know that God is able to help in all situations of life.
I wanted to share my story today. I wanted to show you how even being mad at God, he is still at work. I feel God saying this today, "Be still and Know that I am God". My prayers continue for you, your family and friends. Purpose this the best day you can. After all, you are loved, wanted and needed in life. God use your example to help others and he is helping you too.